Monkey See… Monkey Can’t

Misinformation in the Age of AI

Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.

-- Edgar Allan Poe

Probably less than half.

-- Philip M. O’Reilly

This is another article in my on-again-off-again series, which might best be titled The Chicken Little Chronicles. This loose “collection” of posts which attempt to assure people that no, the world is not ending, and yes, perhaps you should try breathing into a paper bag for a while.

Honestly, I’d probably be better off screaming into the wind. People love bad news. The badder the better. Trying to calm people down might be noble, but it’s certainly not profitable. If I were smarter—and less ethical—I’d do what the “experts” are doing: write a panic-fueled book that capitalizes on fear. I even have a title ready:

Mega-Super-Doomsday: How AI Will Kill Us All If You Don’t Write Me a Check

The World is a Scary Place

War.

AI.

Poorly written preachy television programs.

It never ends.

In the immortal words of Three 6 Mafia:

“It’s hard out there for a pimp…because a whole lot of bitches talkin' shit.”

Today that shit is misinformation. Specifically, that monkeys are working at McDonald’s.

Ok, the problem is bigger than that but let’s start there.

If it’s “unbelievable!” maybe you shouldn’t believe it.

This morning, I received a link from my mom a person who shall remain nameless which illustrates the real danger of AI (no, it’s not the Robopocalypse).

The video in question shows a monkey working at McDonalds somewhere in Asia.

The danger is that people will start believing that monkeys can do people work. Or to put it in more technical terms, that AI will enable more believable misinformation.

The purpose of this article isn’t to tease my mom. Ok, maybe a little bit. The purpose is to highlight what may soon become a dangerous situation. If it hasn’t reached that point already.

There are two related dangers here:

1. Very believable misinformation will soon be widely distributed by dishonest actors.

2. The government will use this to expand censorship and control under the guise of protecting us.

The video is a fake.

In case I was being too subtle.

I spend a lot of time playing with AI and probably way too much time online so it’s obvious to me. But not everyone has the same level of exposure, and if you look at it quickly (and don’t know anything about AI… or monkeys), it’s convincing.

Here’s what gives it away:

1. Monkeys can’t work deep friers. Or flip burgers. Or wash dishes. Or do pretty much anything in the video. Monkeys don’t have the necessary attention span. You can train them to do simple things, but they require constant feedback and rewards. You’ll notice in circuses that they get a treat after every trick. No, a monkey can’t be plopped in front of a fry station or grill and fill fast food orders. That’s what child labor is for.

2. Seriously though, if you give the video more than a cursory glance, you’ll see signs that it’s fake. For example, if you look at the part of the video that shows the monkey cutting fries, you’ll see the fries just falling off the potato.

Tips for Spotting AI Fakes

1. If it looks too good to be true (or too amazing) it probably is.

2. It’s from TikTok. Seriously, if it’s from TikTok and you still believe it, then I’m a Nigerian prince in need of a loan. One thousand dollars ought to cover it. DM me!

Note: I did not say “if it’s too stupid to believe, it must be fake.” There is literally – and I’m using the word correctly – nothing too stupid to be true. TikTok challenges include:

• The Skullbreaker Challenge

• The Benadryl Challenge

• Eating Tide Pods.

If we’ve learned anything from Tik Tok it’s that no matter how stupid it appears, it’s likely true… and I fear we haven’t even begun to plumb the depths of human stupidity. Remind me again why requiring IQ tests to vote is a bad idea?

The Real Danger: Deepfake Politicians

Believing a monkey can make your lunch is hardly a world-shattering danger. People believe all sorts of silly things, the earth is flat, basketball is better than hockey, tariffs are good for the economy.

Sorry that the last one isn’t silly. Or misinformation. Trump has said something to that effect many times. We can’t outlaw saying a doing stupid things or Tik Tok would go out of business and politicians would start going to jail…wait, maybe I’m being too hasty.

The real danger is when deepfake videos show politicians saying things they’ve never said, like the video showing Obama calling Trump a “dipshit.” It’s likely that most of us would find this hard to believe but not everything is so obviously false. How many people would believe a video showing Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announcing a ban on cars made before the year 2000? In these days of government overreach that does not seem beyond the realm of possibilities.

We must destroy free speech to save it?

Political parties in Canada, the UK, and the US are all over the map on this issue. There are some good ideas – user education, better detection tools, harsher penalties – and some bad ones - content moderation by social media platforms and increased regulation.

I’d love it if educating the voting public could solve the problem. But let’s face it, in a world where people are still sending money to help out Nigerian princes do we really want to bet the whole enchilada on that solution? Education should be part of the solution, but the source of the problem must be addressed as well.

We could do what big government and the “we must destroy free speech to protect it” types want and create powerful government agencies to police the internet and pressure businesses to censor their users and remove videos they deem to be misinformation. But that’s what the Democrats did during COVID, and we all know how well that turned out. Giving the government the authority to define “the truth” just leads to politicians wielding these agencies against their political opponents. And yes, the Republicans would be just as bad as the Democrats if given half the chance. As would Labor, the Liberals, the… well you get the idea.

Fortunately, this type of heavy-handed, authoritarian approach isn’t necessary.

We Already Have Laws

In the US it is already illegal to impersonate:

• Federal officers or employees (18 U.S.C. § 912).

• Law enforcement officers (federal and state laws, e.g., NY Penal Law § 190.26).

• Military personnel (Stolen Valor Act, 18 U.S.C. § 704).

• Medical professionals (state laws, e.g., CA Penal Code § 538e).

• Private individuals for fraud or identity theft (18 U.S.C. § 1028).

• Other roles like judges, firefighters, or diplomats (various statutes).

Stealing someone’s identity is also against the law. As are slander and libel which already extend to misleading photo captions. Extending this to fake videos isn’t hard - if it isn’t already covered.

Modifying existing laws to ensure deepfakes are covered would be relatively easy. It would also be easy to avoid being charged for this type of crime. Just prominently display “parody” on your video.

The goal here should be to ensure that “the cure” isn’t worse than the disease.

We’re all going to die!!!

Sorry, just checking to see if you’re still paying attention.

The “experts” who created the United Nations Global Risk Report list “Fake News” as the third greatest global threat. Greater than “Large-Scale War.”

I’m going to have to disagree.

I understand that the likelihood of misinformation/disinformation is 100% but that’s also true for jaywalking, and nobody argues it’s a bigger concern than mass murder.

Misinformation, deep-fakes, etc. are concerns, but it’s not as if lying is a new phenomenon. We’ve been dealing with people lying about politics since…well, the start of politics. Attempts to justify free speech restrictions are akin to saying “human stupidity is a danger to democracy, and we must kill free speech to protect people… but go ahead and eat that tide pod.”

Freedom, if it means anything, means you can be as dumb as you want.

John Stuart Mill may have said it best:

“The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own stupid goals in our own stupid way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of their stupid beliefs or impede their efforts to be dumbasses.”

I may have paraphrased a bit.

Final Thoughts

Reasonable efforts to highlight and identify dangerous lies – I won’t list all the different types, or we’ll be here all day – are welcome, but a light approach is best. That starts with leveraging existing laws before creating new ones.

Being able to accurately quantify and prioritize dangers would also be helpful.

Personally, I’d feel a lot better if the UN was more worried about global thermonuclear war than people doing, saying, and believing stupid things.

But maybe I’m just being dumb.

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